…not to a mental institution or prison, but voluntarily taking on an obligation, pledge or promise…
To what, or whom are you committed?
When asked what they want and how they imagine a healthy relationship, most people put commitment high on the list. Remember that we are not just talking spouses or significant others, but also family and friends and perhaps employers, anyone with whom we want a healthy relationship. Continue reading
Fear, a damaging and corroding thread that can weave its way into and take over our lives, causes inordinate trouble. The ironic and sad part is that many of our fears have little basis in reality and are often related to something that has not happened and probably will not happen and lives only in our heads. No course in elementary school, junior or senior high school, or college prepares us to deal with our fears. Rarely are parents astute enough to help us acquire the tools at home. What then? A common “solution” is to become angry; cover the fears with anger and protect our fragile ego and scared little inner person. Result? We lash out at whoever is in front of us, usually family or significant other. We stay isolated and separate, never forming close relationships. The undealt with fears and anger keep us self absorbed, obsessively ruminating and absent from our own lives. Continue reading
The question has been posed: Are we human beings having a spiritual experience or spiritual beings having a human experience? The skeptics among us will say, “neither, we are just human beings, nothing before or after this life we are in now and spirituality is bogus.” If that is you, consider changing how you think…pretend for a while. What if this life on planet earth is just a blip in our being? Maybe before we came here, we were spirits; part of, yet separate from God. Maybe we are sent, or decide, to arrive on earth for a period of time and accomplish God’s mission for us. We get here and get distracted. Activities, people, stuff, all become wedges between us and our spiritual selves…we become our bodies, our behavior, our thoughts, neglecting our spirit and growing ever separated from our God. After some time existing in this separation, we begin to hurt. Continue reading
HOW do we recover…from anything. My deal is recovery from addiction to alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, even work or anything else, but the principles apply to all of us, addicts or not. Recovering addicts are just human beings with a disease (dis-ease, and if anyone wants a discussion on the disease concept, let me know. This is not an opinion or a belief system, but a fact: addiction is a disease). Anyone who wants to change, grow, or simply increase his or her level of emotional and spiritual health, can learn from the process healthy recovering people use. I emphasize healthy because everyone knows alcoholics who simply stop drinking, never getting beyond other old behavior. See It’s not Just About Not Drinking, for more details.
Anyhow, H.O.W. do we grow emotionally and spiritually? Many ways. Here is one idea: Continue reading
Filling “The Void.” This is what addiction is about. We try to fill the void with anything we can: with stuff, with alcohol, drugs or food, or with processes like gambling, shopping, sex, pornography, or even exercise or work — two of the more justifiable addictions. The problem is that “The Void” is not the shape of the substances or processes we try to put into it. The alcohol, drugs, and food leak out; the momentary satisfaction from processes evaporates like dry ice after a few minutes, and the stuff is simply NEVER ENOUGH. Continue reading