If you knew me, would you like me!!
“If you really knew me, you would not like me!” This is the refrain playing over and over in the heads of so many human beings. I know very few dogs and cats, almost no birds and not one elk or deer who think this way. Corollaries to the above are, “I am not good enough,” “I can’t do it right.” This is the junk that occupies space and time in our weary minds and keeps us from being the best and most comfortable human beings we can be. These negative recordings come from long ago, infiltrating our brains from birth, probably prior to, and indefinitely into adulthood. Shut off the valve that indiscriminately allows the negative and critical to enter, uninvited, into the fiber of your being!
We were tiny little impressionable beings when our parents’ propaganda, demonstrated or spoken, began making its way into and through us, eventually becoming ours. Said propaganda is really part of them, the parental units, but since we were “clean slates” as short people, we adopted it as part of us. Hmmm. Simple solution? Do not accept the parts we do not want. Simple, not easy.
Read more in Risky Business
These 4 year olds are communicating, taking turns, paying attention to each other and their project!
While less controversial than my usual topic of drug use, healthy relationships, how and of what are they made, is an important subject and communication is a vital part of any relationship. Addicts, those in recovery as well as those still in active addiction, are high (sorry) on the list of people who have difficulty communicating. Like recovery, healthy relationships require taking responsibility for oneself, including communicating.
In contrast to the above methods, try this: Continue reading
Expectations. Man, do they get me in trouble! If I work hard to limit my expectations, of me, of others in my life, of the weather and generally of everything, I have lots more joy. I learned this lesson many years ago when I was in early recovery and find that I need to remember it and sometimes relearn it. Thinking about this in the context of my life today, Sept. 9, 2014, is helping me to deal with one of my expectations: that I feel physically good all the time, every day of my life. Not realistic. As a healthy, though aging, woman, I am used to doing any and everything I want to do. I have done Ironman triathlons, 50 mile trail races, and too many mountain climbs to count. I can usually chase grandchildren and join them on the playground equipment, doing pull-ups and pushups and lifting more than one of them at a time if needed. This week, however, I have back pain. I know why and I know what to do about it, but I don’t like it. Perhaps one of the positive results can be that I will be more gentle with myself; perhaps more empathic with others who have physical limitations or just discomfort. Maybe God is telling me to be still and listen…hmmm. I think I will get my ice pack and lay down for a while, maybe open up to whatever messages I hear. More on expectations later. Anyone have thoughts on this, or other topics?
To what, or whom are you committed?
In part 2, I talk about Comittment
Healthy Relationships Part 2
How’s Your Primary Relationship? How about other ones: Family, Friends, Coworkers?
Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship, Part1