These 4 year olds are communicating, taking turns, paying attention to each other and their project!


While less controversial than my usual topic of drug use, healthy relationships, how and of what are they made, is an important subject and communication is a vital part of any relationship. Addicts, those in recovery as well as those still in active addiction, are high (sorry) on the list of people who have difficulty communicating. Like recovery, healthy relationships require taking responsibility for oneself, including communicating.
In contrast to the above methods, try this:
Get out of yourself, become aware of others, treating them as you want to be treated….hmmm…sounds somewhat familiar.
Be cognizant of how your behavior affects your friends and family. If you are upset about something random, reassure those close to you that it is not about them.
Be responsive: acknowledge the communications of others, even if it is to say you cannot talk now, but will contact them when you are able.
Smile, make eye contact and say hello.
Treat invitations with courtesy, accept or decline, follow through when expected…especially if you are being counted on to bring food to a potluck!
Communicate clearly and directly. You are responsible for getting your message across. Are you so self-centered as to believe your friends and family read your mind?
If you have something to say, a request, a need or anything else, say it. Stop spending time thinking about it, planning it, going over and over it in your head…say it once. No Haranguing!
Listen to the person attempting to communicate with you. Focus and pay attention, allow him his turn and do not interrupt.
Never “you” or “should” on anyone, but do share experience, giving advice only if asked.
For a special communications:
Put it in writing, in a card or note. Email does not usually convey a tone and can be easily misinterpreted. A hand written card is entirely different, can say much between the lines and the tone usually obvious. Consider including flowers or cookies.
Say it in front of others. This is a great way to communicate a compliment to a child or spouse…tell him, or tell someone else in front of him, how wonderful he is.
When in doubt, be thoughtful, respectful, and give extra hugs!

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