Monthly Archives: September 2014

Communication

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These 4 year olds are communicating, taking turns, paying attention to each other and their project!

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While less controversial than my usual topic of drug use, healthy relationships, how and of what are they made, is an important subject and communication is a vital part of any relationship. Addicts, those in recovery as well as those still in active addiction, are high (sorry) on the list of people who have difficulty communicating. Like recovery, healthy relationships require taking responsibility for oneself, including communicating.
In contrast to the above methods, try this: Continue reading →

Why?

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“Why?” Answer: 1. It doesn’t matter.

Try asking, “what, where, how, who can help me change and be the person I am meant to be.” Choose a path, take it. If you get the results you are seeking, stay on the pathway. If you don’t like the results, choose a different path.
Continue to pay attention to being the person you want to be. Keep asking “how do I continue?”
If a specific method has worked for others, it may work for you. Students who attend class and do the homework, often pass the course. People who do a little research about food and exercise and eat fewer calories than they burn up usually lose weight. And addicts (including alcoholics) who embrace 12 step groups, read the books and work the steps, have a good chance of recovering from addiction.
One catch is that as spiritual beings, we must include some spiritual component to all, yes all, aspects of our lives. Compartmentalizing does not work. Excluding spirituality from one segment of our life, like work, or drinking or overeating just takes energy and confuses us. If God is God, then He can help with every aspect of our lives.

Expectations

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Expectations. Man, do they get me in trouble! If I work hard to limit my expectations, of me, of others in my life, of the weather and generally of everything, I have lots more joy. I learned this lesson many years ago when I was in early recovery and find that I need to remember it and sometimes relearn it. Thinking about this in the context of my life today, Sept. 9, 2014, is helping me to deal with one of my expectations: that I feel physically good all the time, every day of my life. Not realistic. As a healthy, though aging, woman, I am used to doing any and everything I want to do. I have done Ironman triathlons, 50 mile trail races, and too many mountain climbs to count. I can usually chase grandchildren and join them on the playground equipment, doing pull-ups and pushups and lifting more than one of them at a time if needed.IMG_2098 This week, however, I have back pain. I know why and I know what to do about it, but I don’t like it. Perhaps one of the positive results can be that I will be more gentle with myself; perhaps more empathic with others who have physical limitations or just discomfort. Maybe God is telling me to be still and listen…hmmm. I think I will get my ice pack and lay down for a while, maybe open up to whatever messages I hear. More on expectations later. Anyone have thoughts on this, or other topics?