…On the other hand, maybe it is time to break a commitment that has ceased to be healthy and is clearly not going to change.
“Should I stay or should I go?….if I go there will be trouble. If I stay there will be double.”
From album Combat Rock, The Clash 1981 The Clash on YouTube Continue reading
…not to a mental institution or prison, but voluntarily taking on an obligation, pledge or promise…
To what, or whom are you committed?
When asked what they want and how they imagine a healthy relationship, most people put commitment high on the list. Remember that we are not just talking spouses or significant others, but also family and friends and perhaps employers, anyone with whom we want a healthy relationship. Continue reading
What’s that? Never seen or heard of a “healthy relationship”? No problem. You can learn. You can do it differently. None of us have to remain victims of what we have observed and endured so far…we can change if we want to. But…the deal is…we can only change ourselves. We cannot change other people. This is not to say that people in functional relationships don’t make requests of each other. They do. Often the other person in the relationship responds affirmatively, sometimes not. Continue reading
“If you really knew me, you would not like me!” This is the refrain playing over and over in the heads of so many human beings. I know very few dogs and cats, almost no birds and not one elk or deer who think this way. Corollaries to the above are, “I am not good enough,” “I can’t do it right.” This is the junk that occupies space and time in our weary minds and keeps us from being the best and most comfortable human beings we can be. These negative recordings come from long ago, infiltrating our brains from birth, probably prior to, and indefinitely into adulthood. Shut off the valve that indiscriminately allows the negative and critical to enter, uninvited, into the fiber of your being! Continue reading
Sex. Important word. Troublesome subject for many. If anyone were to do a research study on recovering addicts, they would undoubtedly find that much distress and many, if not most relapses are around relationships, usually sexual relationships. Difficult for anyone, intimate relationships are especially problematic for alcoholics and addicts. Healthy relationships require unselfishness, not a strong suit among addicts, even if the addiction is work, television, skiing or other sports, or something else “acceptable”. Continue reading